Life is how you live it...

I don't know when the change occurred, or why for that matter. Truth be told, I am thankful. The change is hope. It's an amazing feeling to have "hope", hope in the future, hope things will just get better. You wake up in the morning, easier. You go to bed easier. Life is just...easier. I didn't know I lost it, until I got it back. I think when you're growing up, hope gets tangled up in a swarm of other feelings. Hope is undoubtedly the most vital one. This new hope has given me reassurance, and confidence. I now remember who I was and why I began helping others in the first place.I am more comfortable in being me, then I have been in a very long while, before I would get defeated and allow this to cause me to be bitter. I remember when I was a little girl, never feeling defeated, always having assurance in my every action. I remember a trip to the doctors office when I was just four years old, and I saw a boy in a wheel chair and extremely disfigured. This boy, I did not feel sorry for; but when he was being made fun of by adults...I felt outraged. I got up out of my seat and said " he was God's child", and just thinking there was nothing wrong with him. That innocence is long gone, and the loss of it has gotten me trouble. I plan on getting it back, but the idea of "planning" on getting such a magical thing, well it sucks. In the mean time I will just allow myself a celebration for getting my hope back.

“Celebrate we will for life is short but sweet for certain” ~ Dave Matthews